Should parents spoil their children?

Andrew (No)

It’s in the name; spoiling literally means to let something go rotten. Surely parents don’t want rotten children who misbehave and become entitled. It is, therefore, their duty to ensure they are not spoiling their children. Not spoiling a child is part of ensuring the child is properly cared for, an obligation and responsibility that all parents should understand the gravity of doing correctly and with the utmost care. It should be considered a part of proper parenting to ensure that children learn limits, boundaries, and the value of things; in other words, they are not spoiled.

Spoiled children grow up to be spoiled, entitled adults. When we don’t teach our children respect, limits, and consequences, they grow up to be adults who mistreat other adults and potentially break laws. As adults, the behaviors they have become accustomed to as children could have much greater consequences. The world doesn’t need more entitled and rude people in the workplace, and it certainly doesn’t need bosses who mistreat their employees because they weren’t taught about respect and consequences as children. Spoiling children has consequences beyond the here and now, affecting the child for the rest of his or her life and negatively impacting everyone they encounter later on.

Finally, not spoiling a child doesn’t mean parents can’t lavish them with love, affection, and even material things. It’s simply a matter of teaching the child and ensuring they know they can’t have everything they want all the time. Also, children appreciate boundaries and, in the long run, will appreciate the effort parents put into raising them correctly.

Maha (Yes)

Most parents fear hearing the words “you have a spoiled child.” However, there’s nothing to fear, as spoiling children isn’t as negative as most believe or a sign that a parenting failure has happened. Unfortunately, parents may be easily fooled by the many misconceptions surrounding spoiling children. Starting with the actual definition of the word.  

Scientology probably defined a ‘spoiled child’ best: “A child is spoiled by taking away his freedom of action.” Children aren’t spoiled by affection, kindness, understanding, or even indulgence. Instead, punishing them for making decisions and not reasoning with them makes them spoiled. 

Myths about spoiling children are just as responsible for this negative perception. 

For instance, tantrums are often considered a sign of spoiled children. However, the National Library of Medicine’s MedlinePlus states that tantrums are “normal for children to want to be independent.” They may also occur when children are tired, hungry, or sick. Another issue is that society deems some acts of love as spoiling, ignoring how spoiling is relative to each family and situation. For example, mothers are discouraged from picking children up right away every time they cry. 

However, depriving children of such affection prevents them from bonding with their parents. Moreover, opting for harsh and rigid parenting further sets the stage for future feelings of regret, rejection, and power struggles. 

So, rather than holding out on showing children love in every way possible, parents should embrace the idea that spoiling children isn’t as bad as most make it out to be. The trick, however, is to balance it by instilling an attitude of gratitude in the child. That way, their little ones can grow thankful for the acts of affection they receive.