Is love a choice?

Bre (No)

Love isn't just an emotion; it's a complex mental function with several physical attributes. It can induce dry mouth, weak knees, butterflies in the stomach, sexual desire, and separation anxiety. Being in love impacts attention, memory, reasoning, overall health, and more. It even affects our sense of taste. 

While subjects are in love, scientists observe heightened activity in certain brain areas, allowing them to gauge which sectors are most associated with the experience. Neuroscientists even developed a 'love machine' to tap into subconscious biases towards others and inform romantic pairings. Additionally, oral contraceptives are shown to influence women's attraction and partner selection behaviors significantly.

Love is linked to the brain's reward system, releasing oxytocin, a neuropeptide tied to strengthening social bonds that drives us to reproduce and fall instantly in love with our offspring. We also get a surge of oxytocin during orgasm, which promotes feeling connected to our partners. Additionally, falling in love signals the adrenal system, causing the brain to receive a surge of blood flow. The mid and frontal cortices are dampened, clouding our judgment by hindering logic and critical thinking. Being in love stimulates the production of dopamine, a 'feel good' neurotransmitter, delivering a type of high, which can even be addictive.

Love is linked to signals from the amygdala telling us to be less sad or angry, encouraging us to feel safe with our partner. Moreover, we're more likely to overlook flaws and forgive someone we love because chemicals like phenethylamine boost our excitement and desire to bond. Experts believe we're hardwired to love as an evolutionary survival instinct. Scientists assert that it's a powerful phenomenon outside our control; we don't fare as well without it. Just as one's beating heart is an automatic physical response to being alive, so is the experience of being in love.

Linda (Yes)

The age-old question of whether love is a choice or a feeling has been the subject of countless debates. While the idea of love being an uncontrollable emotion or physical feeling often takes the spotlight, there are compelling reasons to believe love is indeed a choice, rooted in the power of intention and conscious decision-making.

Love is a dynamic emotion that unfolds and deepens over time. But it's been proven that successful and lasting relationships are built on intentional acts of love, kindness, and commitment. At its core, this commitment is a choice—we choose to nurture and grow our love by investing time, effort, and energy into our relationships regardless of our present emotions. In the context of romantic love, individuals choosing to commit to one person out of many potential partners demonstrates one's ability to love another purposefully. This choice reflects a commitment to building a life with that person, facing challenges together, and creating a shared future. It's not merely an emotional whirlwind but a deliberate decision to love and cherish one person above all others. Just as a parent would be unloving if they stopped loving their child when the child acts unlovable, so would it be to deny one's commitment to a partner when they inevitably mess up. Loving the unlovable proves love is a significant choice. 

Moreover, people make choices about love throughout their lives, from starting a relationship to ending one. Such choices underline humans' agency and autonomy over our emotions and the direction of our love. Ultimately, love is a cumulation of choice. It is the quintessence of our choices to forgive, empathize, or make sacrifices for the happiness of a loved one. And while feelings and emotions play a vital role in the experience, the conscious decisions and actions we take to maintain a life of love are what truly define it.