Is casual dating worth it?

Dougie (No)

Casual dating has many downsides, both short- and long-term. It’s stressful, challenges personal development, and threatens people’s ability to successfully form meaningful relationships in the future. Additionally, it can be dangerous, as it increases unplanned pregnancy risk and STI exposure, especially when both parties have multiple partners. Even if neither such consequence occurs, casual daters may be left feeling regretful or used, which can lower their self-worth and contribute to depression.

Coordinating the ins and outs of rotating romantic arrangements from their start to eventual finish is typically time-consuming and probably quite tiring. Devoting all that energy to balancing several casual partnerships can make people behave in ways they otherwise wouldn’t, like being insincere, indifferent, or withholding. “Ghosting” is a perfect example of how casual daters show an intentional emotional detachment, vanishing from their connections without any explanation or accountability. They’re literally practicing having a lack of empathy as if honing a relationship anti-skill.

With no commitment, “situationships” can be confusing. Expectations and boundaries aren’t usually discussed, so people can lose track of what they want or feel they deserve. Knowing our needs and how to express them is key to forming successful relationships in life. Instead, with added ambiguity comes insecurity, anxiety, and maybe even jealousy. People often end up frustrated or hurt.

What if, over time, an unwillingness to compromise in casual dating develops into an inability to do so at all? Even if you might still make a great long-term partner, you’re advertising the complete opposite; meanwhile, dating casually is likely to prevent any would-be future partners from ever looking twice or taking you seriously.

Sam (Yes)

Casual dating allows you to learn what works best for you in a relationship without forcing you to make every romantic encounter stand the test of time. When you’re dating casually, you ideally learn a lot about yourself in the process. 

For example, you may realize you need to work on setting boundaries or communicating clearly. If you are dating casually, you have the freedom to focus on yourself and work on these things without the pressure of maintaining a committed relationship simultaneously. Focusing on yourself when dating may seem callous, but understanding who you are is foundational to finding the person for you. There are, of course, wrong ways to casually date. For instance, dishonesty about your intentions to keep things casual can cause harm to the other person and should be avoided. 

Relationships take time and effort, especially if the goal is to have a healthy relationship. Understandably, some people don’t have this time and effort to spare or would like to invest it into something else. By clarifying their casual intentions beforehand, a person avoids beginning an unbalanced relationship where their partner overextends themselves to make the relationship work. 

Dating is a fun part of life that doesn’t have to be gravely serious and calculated. After all, dating gives you exciting opportunities to meet new people and try new things! Dating casually relieves the pressure of envisioning every suitor as the one. Instead, you can be present and enjoy the company of another person. In the absence of strict judgments about a person in light of your relationship expectations, you can approach the interaction with clear-headedness and flexibility, allowing you to enjoy it a little more.